Learn "The Pause"
A tiny routine with measurable outcomes. Fewer pickups, clearer signals, better sleep.
The Pause is a plain old French habit from the book Bringing Up Bébé. When a baby stirs at night, parents wait a few moments to observe. Not to ignore. To listen. Infants often pass through “agitated sleep,” making noises, stretching, even opening their eyes while still asleep. Rushing in can flip a light switch the wrong way.
This is sleep teaching, not harsh “sleep training.” If a cry strengthens or you suspect hunger or discomfort, you go. The skill is telling a brief transition from a real need. Over time, this small practice often leads to longer stretches of sleep in the early months, because the baby learns, “I can do the next bit myself.”
Why it resonates: The Pause sits inside a wider philosophy that trusts the child’s capacities from birth. French parents try to cultivate patience, autonomy, and coping with small frustrations. Montessori echoes run through it. Observe first, prepare the environment, then step back so the child can practice a skill. The same spirit appears in minimal interference ideas from Hunt, Gather, Parent. No secret stopwatch. Just paying attention.
There is science behind the calm. Infant sleep cycles are naturally noisy, and parent education that includes a short wait is linked to better sleep. Several experts note that a little fussing can be fine, because it lets babies try to self-soothe. The goal is not distance. The goal is accuracy. Read the signal before you act.
How to try it tonight
When you hear a squawk, pause for a few moments and observe.
If the sound fades, keep watching. If it builds or feels different, respond.
In the day, practice short pauses before fixing minor frustrations. It trains you too.
Bottom line: Treat your baby as a capable learner. A tiny wait can teach a lifelong skill, and everyone sleeps better. Also, you might drink your coffee while it is still warm. Sometimes.
Learn how to raise a happy, helpful & confident child:
Ebook based on “Hunt, Gather, Parent” by Michaeleen Doucleff:
Hunt, Gather, Parent - A Visual Summary
If the baby is still asleep, isn’t this teaching the parent not to wake the baby? Rather than teaching the baby to sleep - because they’re already asleep 😂